so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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