I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
