Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
