Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
