yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You are a genius and a whore.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
