It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize