Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
