Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
