Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
