I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
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