TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
and you fell through a lawn chair
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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