from now on my penis is your penis
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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