I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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