Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
