I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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