I never want to see another naked old woman again.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
