WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
