I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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