Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Congratulations! We have a period
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