Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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