he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
