I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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