I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
did you just send me my own nude
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
