butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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