There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
