yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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