that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
