I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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