I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
