any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
