when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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