Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
