My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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