What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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