chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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