break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
