He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
