I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
