He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
