meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
