How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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