dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
