im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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