She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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