I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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