Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
tell me about the eggs
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
