life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize