Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
