direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dick very happy bro
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
