i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
