You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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