do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
