I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i came on her dog
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
