I think I am morally bankrupt
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
