Buhtt sex?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize