That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
