you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
