Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Operation Purity has been aborted
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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