I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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