Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
