Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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