I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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